Q & A Session with Cornelius "Baksteen" Villiers

Occupation: Traffic Management Officer, UCT
Life Goal: Be the first to TMO to rack up over R500 000 in student fines in one semester

Andrew Button:
Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to be with Cornelius. Can I call you Bakkies?

CBV: (Blank Stare)

AB: Right, moving swiftly along then. I'd just like to discuss the logic behind charging every student almost half a grand a year for the honour, nay, the privilege, of parking on UCT property, and the fining them the same amount when they park illegally.

CBV: (vague grunting noises)

AB: So what you're tying to say is that students have a responsibility to behave sensibly and act within the ambitof the law? What do you say to critics of the system who hold that they cannot reasonably be expected to find parking when over 9 permits are issued per parking space on campus?

CBV: (silence, except for the drool hitting the floor)

AB: That's right, I'm asking the hard questions.

CBV: I am afraid that, in line with the current UCT SRC policy, we are bound to supply permits the extent that ...

AB: Fantastic. Well, that is all we have time for this afternoon. Thank you for your participation sir. Good luck, and godspeed.

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are intended to be humourous. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Andrew Button, or the publishers of this website. In fact, if you are one of the unfortunate souls who regularly cannot find parking - let's face it, you've probably been dealt a bad hand in life, and nothing from this point out is going to be easy for you.